Harry Potter Characters' Lives
by Perilous Mango Ninja
Summary: Well, I was really, really bored and I started playing MASH with Harry Potter characters and it was really funny! My friend and I did this together... We were both bored
1. Harry Potter

What Happens When I Get Bored and Toy With Harry Potter's Life Using MASH yongbing wan yongbing wan 6 39 2001-10-22T21:43:00Z 2001-10-23T00:10:00Z 2 483 2755 Broadcom 22 5 3383 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

What Happens When I Get Bored and Toy With Harry Potter's Life Using MASH

****

            Yeah, you read the title right.  I mean… I seriously had nothing to do!!!  So… I started playing MASH (you know that little fortune telling thing…) and I made sure that no matter what, Harry would have a really crappy life.  This is an interesting activity if you're bored.  And I really did MASH with it, but I did it on a piece of paper, which I can't show here.

**Spouse:**

Voldemort Draco Viktor Krum The Backstreet Boys 

Final: **Draco**

**Honeymoon:**

Landfill The sun The gutter The sewer 

Final: **Landfill**

**Live in:**

Closet Dudley's stomach Portable potty Voldemort's tea 

Final: **Voldemort's tea**

**Best friend:**

A tuxedo His hand His foot A picture of his hand 

Final: **A picture of his hand**

**Pet:**

Smashed frog Rotten orange Road kill cat Justin Timberlake 

Final: **Road kill cat**

**Number of children:**

4,529,876 –5.2 7/8 2/3 

Final: **-5.2**

**Transportation:**

Flying light bulb Invisible pogo stick Rainbow penguin Walking pencil 

Final: **Invisible pogo stick**

**Car:**

Porsche (one wheel) Tilting monster truck Dump truck Garbage truck 

Final: **Tilting monster truck**

**Date of death:**

10,000,000,000,000,000 1562 5967 20,058,276 

Final: **1562**

**Job:**

Voldemort's teatime buddy Draco's fluffy pink bunny A guppy Anorexic wannabe 

Final: **Voldemort's teatime buddy**

**Greatest accomplishment:**

Reciting the alphabet up to A Not having an "accident" Falling into an endless pit Getting eaten by a flobberworm 

Final: **Reciting the alphabet up to A**

Other spouse: Himself Percy Weasley Severus Snape Dumbledore 

Final: **Himself**

Most pathetic accomplishment:

Inhaling before exhaling Being puked on Being used as toilet paper Reciting the alphabet up to A 

Final: **Inhaling before exhaling**

Flowers in his garden:

Dead ones Stinky ones Purple with orange and lime green polka dots Half of a rose 

Final: **Stinky ones**

Future Hair Color:

Poopy brown Yellow (not blond) What's a color? Hot pink 

Final: **Yellow (not blond)**

Other pet:

Half of a smashed snail Road kill rat Thanksgiving turkey Decapitated cockroach 

Final: **Half of a smashed snail**

Daily meal:

Raw cow fat Sewer stuff Thumbtacks Worms with liver and spinach 

Final: **Raw cow fat**

For those of you who didn't want to read that entire thing:

            Harry Potter will be married to Draco Malfoy (poor Draco) and to himself.  They will honeymoon in a landfill before settling down and living in Voldemort's tea and having –5.2 children, along with a pet road kill cat and a pet half of a smashed snail.  Harry will work as Voldemort's teatime buddy and will either drive to work in a tilting monster truck or on an invisible pogo stick.  His best friend will be a picture of his hand; he will have stinky flowers in his garden and yellow hair in the future.  In addition, he will eat raw cow fat everyday.  His greatest accomplishment will be reciting the alphabet up to A while his most pathetic accomplishment will be inhaling before exhaling.  He will die in 1562.  In conclusion, it kinda sucks to be Harry Potter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Harry Potter characters.  I'm not making money from it.  If I were, I'd be broke anyways, so you wouldn't be able to sue me anyways.  This was for my entertainment only (and _maybe_ yours?) and I was just bored and felt like making someone's life miserable while amusing myself.  And you are reading the result.


	2. Ron Weasley

What Happens When I Get Bored and Toy With Ron Weasley's Life Using MASH yongbing wan yongbing wan 4 196 2001-10-22T22:15:00Z 2001-10-23T01:38:00Z 2 345 1971 Broadcom 16 3 2420 9.2720 4.5 pt 2 2 

What Happens When I Get Bored and Toy With Ron Weasley's Life Using MASH

****

            Again, I was bored, and this was actually quite entertaining.  Either way you do it with MASH on my paper, Ron's life sucks, too.  So it's pretty fair… I think…

**Spouse:**

Leonardo di Caprio Frankenstein A painting of himself A boysenberry 

Final: **Painting of himself**

**Other spouse:**

Voldemort A purple brick Mr. Spinach-head Frankenstein's wife 

Final: **Voldemort**

"Secret" spouse: Viktor Krum Jingling bones Dried-up glue 'Nsync 

Final: **Viktor Krum**

**Honeymoon:**

Up his butt A microwave A puddle of glue Quicksand 

Final: **A microwave**

**Best friend:**

A shard of glass A pencil sharpener A scrap of wallpaper A grain of sand 

Final: **A shard of glass**

**Pet:**

Rotten egg Rainbow booger Juicy red apple core Encyclopedia 

Final: **Rainbow booger**

**Number of kids:**

3/5 6 1/3 999,999,999,999 –10,000,000.064 

Final: **6 1/3**

**Live in:**

Vernon's stomach Paper shredder A match Paper cutter 

Final: **Paper shredder**

**Date of death:**

5000 B.C. 6572 2000 9,762,458,018,642 

Final: **9,762,458,018,642**

**Job:**

Vomit picker-upper Lucius Malfoy's gum Gilderoy Lockhart's fake teeth Teeny bopper 

Final: **Gilderoy Lockhart's fake teeth**

**Transportation:**

Dead alligator Bouncing ruler Imaginary car Snot covered unicycle 

Final: **Bouncing ruler**

**Other pet:**

Decapitated teddy bear Spanish-speaking chipmunk A part crocodile, part bird, part zebra creature Dead pink and purple chicken 

Final: **Spanish-speaking chipmunk**

**Hair Color:**

Hot pink Purple Orange and red Lavender 

Final: **Orange and red**

**Greatest accomplishment:**

Spelling his name incorrectly Reading the word "I" Kissing Draco Asking Voldemort to murder him 

Final: **Reading the word "I"**

**Car:**

½ of a limo A lemon on wheels Rolling cabbage Broken Chevy 

Final: **A lemon on wheels**

**Daily breakfast:**

Rotten snail carcasses Fur balls with milk Poison dart frog Nails 

Final: **Poison dart frog**

**Daily lunch:**

Cockroach guts Glue sticks, lightly salted Salmonella-infested rat Rabid elephant dung 

Final: **Glue sticks, lightly salted**

**Daily dinner:**

Used car tires Snot White-out Cat urine 

Final: **White-out**

Most pitiful deed:

1. Discovering that he's a guy

2. Discovering that he's stupid

3. Discovering that he *can* breathe

4. Being used as a tissue

Final: Discovering that he's a guy

"Flowers" in garden:

Fake flowers Ugly flowers Nonexistent flowers Imaginary flowers 

Final: **Imaginary flowers**

For those of you who did not want to read that:

            Ron Weasley will end up marrying a painting of himself and Voldemort; however, he will also be secretly married to Viktor Krum.  They will honeymoon in a microwave before settling down in a paper shredder and having 6 1/3 children and a pet rainbow booger, as well as a pet Spanish-speaking chipmunk.  His best friend will be a shard of glass, and he will work as Gilderoy Lockhart's fake teeth.  He will drive to work in a lemon on wheels or on a bouncing ruler, and his hair will be orange and red.  While his greatest accomplishment will be reading the word "I," his most pitiful deed will be discovering that he's a guy.  In addition, he will eat poison dart frogs everyday for breakfast, glue sticks, lightly salted, everyday for lunch, and white-out everyday for dinner.  He will plant imaginary flowers in his garden.  Then, he will die in 9,762,458,018,642.  In conclusion, it's not that great to be Ron Weasley.


End file.
